Losing My Religion

Hello everyone, Happy Easter! I was invited to attend my friend’s mom’s birthday party and this is what I wore. Both the cardigan and the studded vest are gifted ones from my friends and I didn’t know which one to wear. I was thinking if I should wear the vest with another leather jacket or just wear the cardigan over the gray shirt. I was so torn so I tried putting them together and lo and behold, it completely worked. So kids, the lesson here is when you don’t know which one to wear, just wear them both and see if they work.

It’s Easter and everyone in the Christian world is celebrating the most important event of the year. It’s the day when Jesus Christ saved humanity from evil by resurrecting from the dead after three days of being dead. Technically, I’m Catholic Christian but for me, Easter is just another day of surviving this crazy little thing called life. For some reason, I lost faith in religion a few years ago and I’m in a pseudo-atheist phase in my life where I’m doubting if there is a supreme being above there or not. Don’t judge me, I’m only dishing you the T (drag slang for truth; sometimes spelled as tee or tea). Since the former pope of the Roman Catholic Church Benedict XVI proudly expressed his will against gay people, I’ve decided I’ve had enough of it. How can a head of a strong institution who keeps on preaching about God’s love, compassion and peace be so against people who are also children of God? How can the Church preach about love when they’re against the union of two in-love people of the same sex? If God is love, then I’m certain that He lives in homosexuals’ hearts too because we know how to love selflessly. We express it to our family, friends and partners, just like how heterosexuals do it.

IMGP6223 IMGP6232 IMGP6262

I kinda hate religion. Yeah, it gives people faith and hope, something to hold on to whenever they feel like everything just won’t work in their lives any more. But then, it divides people. It even causes war sometimes. I believe more in men’s natural kindness and ability to love one another. If we only think of kindness, compassion and unselfishness, there will be no slavery, wars and all those evil stuff. I know it’s hard but we can do it in small ways. If all of our small ways are combined, it can be a great thing that may affect humanity in a positive way.

IMGP6224 IMGP6267 IMGP6235 IMGP6229

Topshop leather vest, gifted cardigan, H&M hat and t-shirt, GU Japan pants and Versace x H&M boots

Things that I ask myself whenever religion comes into my mind.

* If God really hates gays, then why would He bother making a bunch of them and let them suffer an existence full of discrimination and hate? Why make them live and strive for heaven if they’re predestined to eternal damnation?

* How can you believe an institution that teaches about chastity but also full of pedophiles?

* Is there really a God? Did all of those sorcery of miracles really happen thousands of years ago? If so, why aren’t day happening now? If He talked to people before, why did He stop and why doesn’t He talk to us anymore?

* Is there really a hell? What if there isn’t? What if it’s only a place created in the heads of a bunch of people who want to be in power? What if they created this imaginary place of fire and sulfur to scare people others so they would join that group?

* If God is just, is it really just to put people in eternal damnation, no matter how evil they were? Maybe it’s just but what happened to compassion?

These are the things that I ask myself whenever religion comes in mind. I don’t care if people have religions (unless they shove it to my throat to make me swallow it) and I actually admire them for having such strong faith. I respect people and their own beliefs. I just wish that their faith won’t make them forget to be compassionate to others who aren’t in the same group as theirs. After all, Jesus, Allah, Jehovah, Buddha and all of them taught that we are all equal in their eyes.


photos by Akemi Kobayashi Po

Autumn Over Spring

Now giving you preppy, sporty and edgy all at once in this casual look. Very easy breezy while staying true to my current aesthetic of injecting a little bit of darkness in everything I do. Before I would never ever leave the house without sunglasses but now, I feel so naked whenever I don’t have anything on my head to cover it. It’s like a safety blanket and I’m weak when I don’t have it. This is what I wore to Ueno Park when my best friend Zowie visited Tokyo a few weeks ago and invited me to go and see the cherry blossoms with her family. Yup, I know it’s kinda hard to believe we went to see the sakura trees because of the sea of dead leaves but it appealed to me more than the pretty pink flower that has symbolized Japanese spring for so long. We went around the park and saw this area and started to take our photos there. I was like “I don’t think it’s even appropriate to post these photos while everyone celebrates the coming of spring.” If you’ve been a follower of this blog, you must be aware how much I’m into autumn. It’s my favorite season and as much as I adore the magnificent beauty of the sakura, the warmer color palette of fall appeals more to me.

IMGP6146 IMGP6155 IMGP6162 IMGP6158 IMGP6147 IMGP6169IMGP6164Comme des Garcons shirt, vintage Dior sweater, H&M pants, Nike shoes and OS Accessories Neptune cap

As for some life update, I’ve started work a few weeks ago and I’m telling you, it’s all crazy right now. It’s so crazy that I won’t be surprised if I’ll be dead by the end of this academic year. I just wish I won’t get a lot of wrinkles from all the stress or, much better, I’d be able to hold on to my life.


photos by Zowie Damag

Me in TokyoFashion.com

I used to be a dreamer. I used to wish for big things to happen in my life. I wanna go to this place, I wanna have this when I’m something years old, I wanna settle with that good looking guy and make him drool over me for the rest of his life and all the blah blah blah. I had all this hungry passion of doing everything I can to reach my dreams. I was unstoppable! But somehow, in the middle of the journey, I became more realistic and started to be contented with whatever life throws on me. I don’t know what happened. Maybe it’s because I’m in a place and current situation where I’m totally fine with everything and just can’t ask for more. And suddenly, all of those dreams just drowned into the ocean of memories, slowly sinking and getting smaller in sight. Not that I’m saying that those dreams are now dead. They are still in the depths of my conscious and subconscious mind but I’m more focused on living my life at the present. Carpe diem!

If you’re a non-Japanese person and a Japanese fashion lover, it’s so hard not to know TokyoFashion.com. It’s probably the most popular and the most influential street style blog there is even before the boom of the fashion blogs. During my early days in Japan, I’ve always wished to see my face and my look in their site. “Maybe one day, I’ll feel very legit about being a Tokyo fashion lover becaused TokyoFashion found me stylish enough to be in their site.” It took some time before things went in to place. First they followed me on Twitter. That’s already a big deal for some small blogger like me to get noticed by someone bigger like them. Then I noticed that I always get referral views from their site and realized that they put me in their blog roll. What on earth did I do to be deserving of that? Am I as interesting as Harajuku princess Hirari Ikeda who I share the same spot in their blog roll? I don’t think so but that doesn’t mean I’m not grateful or whatsoever. I was already contented with that actually but deep in my heart, I know I still want my look to be featured there. Then, this happened.


Christian Dada spiked t-shirt, Marc by Marc Jacobs oversized hoodie, UPSTAIRS Shibuya trousers, Nike shoes, Prada bag and OS Accessories cap (Click HERE to go directly to TokyoFashion.com’s site for more photos and info about this look)

It was a sunny Sunday afternoon in Harajuku when the team and I decided to finally meet after years of anonymously following each other in Twitter. At last, I finally put faces in my head whenever I think of TokyoFashion.com. Gone are those days when I’d always wonder how they look like. They took my snaps and have small chitchats to get to know each other in person till I decided to leave coz I had an appointment to the hair salon. Weeks after, one morning, I was awakened with a bunch of social media notifications, telling me that I got snapped by Japan’s leading fashion street snap website in English. Heaven knows how I felt elated when I saw myself in their Instagram feed with these thousands of “likes” from fans all over the world. At last, a dream finally came true.

I know I’m a vain person. I’m honest about the fact that it still puts a smile on my face whenever someone compliments how sickening I look or whenever I inspire someone to dress better. But honestly, this story is not all about the praises I could get from seeing myself in TokyoFashion.com. It’s more about rediscovering that dreams do come true and it’s never too late to make greater dreams and to fulfill them while we all have the chance. We are not born in this world just to merely survive but to put essence to that survival process or, in other and better words, truly exist. Dreams fuel that passion to have a full life and we are given each day to unfold one and make another one, may it be bigger or smaller. They say dreams are only made by fools but isn’t it better to live in a world of happy foolish people than to be surrounded by sad and dried up zombies who just want brains for dinner? I don’t know really know what I just said in the previous sentence but I’m sure you pretty get the whole point here.

To end this, let me tell you an anecdote about me and my best friend Zowie who I asked to compare the ME in Manila seven years ago and the ME now in Tokyo. She told me “You used to dream bigger. And that made you glow more.” That comment made a tear drop from my eye. I guess I need to fuel my life some more. Dream bigger and eventually do something to make them happen.


photo by TokyoFashion.com